Who Needs Porn When You Find This Stuff in Mainstream Science Fiction

Proof that the writers of the Dune novels were sadomasochists. Now I wonder what the bible-thumping folks whose quest to feverishly protect young-impressionable minds from smut would say about this excerpt from a basically PG-13 series of novels which I first started reading when I was around 12. Of course it might explain my twisted mind.

When he looked down at the thrashing Vladimir, his sweat-drenched clothes, and the defiant grin on his face, the Face Dancer realized another possible problem. The torture might be ineffective for the simple and straight-forward fact that this ghola actually enjoy it.

Anyway, toy bag is packed for tonight.

Spring Cleaning

Packed up some boxes for a friend who is moving into a new house. The cat may or may not still be in the box. In other news, I got my ass kicked in Mario Kart on Friday night.

Loneliness Is Collecting Dust on the Bookshelf

I've been nudged to update this thing sometime this century. I think the nudger had something more in mind than this update. She knows where to find me as my weekend plans may or may not involve getting into some sort of trouble with her. In case the rest of the world is wondering, those plans include a workshop with Lee Harrington. It will be great opportunity to see first hand the ties from Lee's book which Kona sent me in the Secret Santa endeavor from the defunct blog land that hosted the previous version of this journal.

In case anyone was wondering, somebody spilled half their cup of coffee on me this morning while I was standing in line at the coffee shop (not Starbucks by the way). Had to phone the misses to bring me a clean pair of underwear to replace the pair which managed to get soaked with coffee.

Finding Order in Chaos

For the moment my little corner of the cosmos mirrors the world around me. That my professional life is hectic and feeling turned upside down is not surprising. If it wasn't in that situation right now, I would be concerned, as what I do is a chunk of the financial risk management world which translates into when the markets are in chaos, my clients need me. I'm less busy when the world is happy. With time things will come around.

My personal life has taken off on an unexpected journey. The ride has been wild. Right now it feels stuck in a valley. That too will come to pass. I feel calmer now than I did even a week ago. I need rid myself of the expectations and enjoy what is ahead. That is not to say that I shouldn't take control and try to steer.

Life Is What Happens While You're Making Other Plans

I have to remember many of the best things in my corner of the world were discovered when i wasn't looking for them. Most of the things I searched my entire life to find have been elusive. As of late, the things I wanted have eluded me. This should come to pass in short while. As long as I keep my eyes open, something better will come along.

Opening a Dirty Window

We had a long overdue heart-to-heart discussion over lunch a few days ago. We discussed a lot of things that needed to be said for a long time. There were a lot of things that we both new, but either avoided or ignored.

Tripping over the bump in the road was inevitable. We were both a little too complacent, too comfortable with each other, and didn't communicate very well. It is a bitter sweet irony that the cause of our big crash was a misunderstanding. We got burnt by something that we thought the other wanted.

We have agreed to take a break from our d/s relationship for now. I don't know if it will resume. I didn't expect it to end or want it to end, especially after it became something much more than I originally expected when we first met, but not quite what we wanted it to be. The one thing I really wanted was a polyamourous relationship that I knew could never work.

Perhaps it will give us time to be friends for now without the struggle for control that our relationship turned into.

Searching for the Open Window

Now if emotions could be as easily satisfied and subdued like the physical wants and needs. The irony is that things started off without expectations. The emotional ride changed that, perhaps creating something that would never work.

We ignored for too long the little nagging feeling in the back of our minds. When the crash occurred, we couldn't understand why it happened. Funny thing, part of the answer was given to me unexpectedly the other night while sitting around with some friends, chatting as we wound-down after some play.

So a door that has been closed while we clean up the broken pieces.